This is $#%^ed up right here!
by Jeff AKA Snoopy
Summary: Uhh... screwy story featuring myself, Lila and Tourture Rack Cloud... along with FF7 crew. It's very odd... and I think it's funny


I was inspired to make this wacko thing by Neo Torture Rack Cloud... or whatever his name may be when you read this. It's odd.... but fun to make!!  
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*Cloud walks out naked behind a sign*  
  
Cloud : Hello all... I am your warm up for the evening. I am naked... watch me dance!  
  
*dances, and points out the back of his sign "I'm poor, give me gil"*  
  
Me : Hold on Cloud. What the heck is up with the poor cry?  
  
Cloud : Hey, if you're making me come out here, might as well make a buck...  
  
Voice : HEY, I GOT YOUR BUCK!!  
  
*throws Gil at Cloud, hits him in the head*  
  
Cloud : OWW.. SON OF A &%^$&!! If I werent necked, I'd hurt you!  
  
Voice : I'm so sure  
  
Cloud : *grumble* Yuffie... come out here and show this @$$ how to throw!  
  
*Yuffie comes out, to pop*  
  
Yuffie : Who is it?  
  
*Cloud points to the guy, who throws another gil and knocks out Yuffie*  
  
Cloud : Umm.... yeah. CHEESE POWDER, COME TO MY RESCUE!  
  
*Orange Powder comes from the sky*  
  
Cloud : You now face the powers of SUPER CHEESE CLOUD!!! DIE EVIL DO-ER!!!  
  
*Man throws one more gil, knocking out Super Cheese Cloud*  
  
Cloud : Ughhhh.. what the hell was that?  
  
*Overhead Speaker*  
  
Tifa : CLOUD!!! GET OUT!! AERIS IS COMING... AND SHE'LL CHASE YA IF YOU'RE NECKED!!  
  
Cloud : NECKED SUPER CHEESE MAN RUNS ONLY WHEN SUPER AFRAID, OR IF HE SEE'S SUPER CHEESE MAN EATER MOUSE!!!  
  
*Aeris runs in*  
  
Aeris : ACKK!!! CLOUD!!! C'mere big boy!  
  
*Cloud looks scared*  
  
Cloud : NECKED SUPER CHEESE MAN IS SUPER AFRAID, I MUST RUN!!!  
  
*runs*  
  
Aeris : C'mon back here, you HUNKA HUNKA BURNIN LOVE!!!  
  
*runs after him*  
  
Cloud in a small vioce : ACK! Start the fic!!! Start the fic!!!  
  
Aeris : Hey you, you are a slippery devil, aint ya!  
  
Me : Hmm.... I'm liking this...  
  
Cloud : Please man, just start it. I'm dying here!  
  
Me : This is better than the fic... why should I end it!  
  
Aeris : That's the idea Jeff... let me get him.  
  
Cloud : C'mon!!! SOMEONE HELP ME!!   
  
*runs by the front of the stage again*  
  
Cloud : Hey GUY! Throw some more Gil!!!  
  
*man throws gil at Aeris, she catches it*  
  
Aeris : You son of a %$#%&! Take this!!  
  
*throws it back, killing him*  
  
Me : Hmm.. I think I should start this before other's die.... PULL THE CURTAIN!  
  
*Curtain opens to a scream from Cloud*  
  
Cloud : AERIS!! STOP TRYING TO PEEL OFF MY SKIN! I'M NOT WEARING ANYTHING!!  
  
Aeris : OH MY!!! That's even better....  
  
Me : OK.... that's enough.   
  
*Curtain opens*  
  
*Lila, Snoopy, and TRAC (Tourture Rack Ancient Cloud??? I dunno) sitting with the other FF7 people*  
  
Lila : This is nice, aint it?  
  
Cid : #@!$%@#% %@ %@#%@# %$#&^%  
  
Snoopy : Obviously, Cid is smoking the wacky tabaccy again....  
  
Barret : Pass me some of that shit man  
  
*Cid gives it over to Barret*  
  
Barret : %$#^&^%# ^#@ &*%&#$ !#$ ^#  
  
TRAC : Do you really have to smoke that here?  
  
Barret : $#@%^@#^ %@&% &*@#$# @&  
  
Snoopy : What the hell did he say?  
  
Cloud : $#@%^@#^ %@&% &*@#$# @&  
  
Lila : Uhh... thanks Cloud....  
  
Red : You know.... in my tribe, we smoke pipes regularily....  
  
Yuffie : How the hell would you smoke a pipe?  
  
Red : I dunno... I'm usually %@#^%^$ ^$%@#% &%@# by the time  
  
*Tifa runs in*  
  
Tifa : Hey Ciddy-Poo!  
  
Cid : Hey Tifa...... I like that name  
  
Tifa : Huh?  
  
*everyone rolls eyes*  
  
TRAC : They've been smokin wacky tabbacy  
  
Tifa : Ohh.... has Cloud? *suggestive smile*  
  
Snoopy : Not yet... besides... I thought you were against it..  
  
Tifa : Anything that lowers his resistance to my abnormally large breasts.. and to get him away from miss goody "I saved the World" Aeris...  
  
Aeris: What the hell is wrong with you? I'm with Cloud!  
  
Tifa : Oh shit.... why are you here?  
  
Aeris: I can do whatever I want, bitch!  
  
Lila : *Meow*  
  
Aeris and Tifa : QUIET YOU!!  
  
Lila : Oh #@!$ you!  
  
TRAC : Hmm... why are we all swearing!  
  
Barret : %@#%( $@#^! &$%^#* ~!@%  
  
Reno : BECAUSE WE CAN %$#^!  
  
Lila : RENO!!! C'MERE BIG BOY  
  
Reno : Ah shit......  
  
*runs*  
  
Lila : Hey Hey... c'mon back here and have some tabbacy!  
  
*runs after him*  
  
Cloud : Ladies, don't fight over me. Remember, I am also Super Cheese Cloud.... one of you can have him....... CLOUD DNA DIGIVOLVE TO..... It didn't work.  
  
Red : Here, have some Guda.....  
  
Cid : Man, you know he can only have Cheddar to go to his Cheese form  
  
Red : What about Cheese?  
  
Barret : %$^$# &@&* @^%$ &^#  
  
Cid : Damn it Barret.,, I'm sick of talking nice. G'me the %$#^@$@ tabbacy  
  
Barret : %@%^ you!  
  
Snoopy : Everyone calm down... we have more in our plantation behind us.  
  
*Cid and Barret looks behind them*  
  
Both : WEEEEEEEEHHHHHH I LOVE WEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDD  
  
*run*  
  
TRAC : Uhh... ain't that stuff illegal or somethin?  
  
Snoopy : Meh.... We saved the world.... they are gonna let us do whatever we want!!  
  
Cloud : Excuse me, but I saved the world!  
  
Yuffie : So what? Stupid non-Jenova Sephy coulda been killed by anyone  
  
*Lila runs in, panting*  
  
Lila : I only got his pants....   
  
*holds up pants*  
  
Snoopy : Hey.... I want those!  
  
*models Reno Pants*  
  
TRAC : You look damn fine nigga!  
  
Snoopy : Nigga?? I'm white, you trailor trash!  
  
Lila : HEY! I want those pants to add to my collection!  
  
Rude : *Fart* I AM RUDE! I HAVE NO REASON TO BE NICE! RENO WANT'S HIS %@#%$&^ PANTS BACK! *Fart* OR I WILL DESTROY YOU WITH MY KILLER ASS STINK ATTACK  
  
Red : Uhh... why is Rude here?  
  
Me : Because Rude kicks ass  
  
Red : This makes no sense... everyone is coming in everywhere  
  
Bundahagen : BUD-WEI-SER!  
  
Red : Now SEE? That didn't make a lick of sense!  
  
John Madden : I know what ya mean!  
  
Snoopy : Get the Hell out anyone not with us!  
  
John Madden : After I eat some cheese! Pass me the Guda!  
  
Red : Get your own damn Guda!  
  
Bundahagen : WHASSSSSSUUUUUPPPP!!!!!!  
  
Lila : I STILL WANT RENO'S PANTS  
  
TRAC : Why is other people here?  
  
Bart Simpson : Don't have a cow man!  
  
Cloud : What the hell is going on?  
  
Tifa : SKANK  
  
Aeris : BARBIE GIRL "I'M A WHORE" BITCH  
  
*Outside*  
  
Barret : FIRE!!!!  
  
*Fire 3 starts plantation on fire*  
  
Cid : Breathe it in, my good man, breathe it in  
  
Barret : %@#%$#^@ ^&%$% &*%^$ *%$^@& ^&*&*@#&%  
  
Cid : %#!%^ &^% *@#^$# ^&^&^&@$&  
  
*Inside*  
  
Cloud : Girls... anyone say Threesome?  
  
*Tifa and Aeris start fighting*  
  
TRAC : Wow... you can't see stuff this good on Mud Wrestling Channel!  
  
Snoopy : Wow... you get that chanel? Doesn't that cost like lots!  
  
TRAC : Lila got it in for free... she seems to like it too!  
  
Lila : SHUT UP AND HELP ME GET THE PANTS FROM RUDE!  
  
Rude : No way Lila... he wants all his pants back.... *fart*  
  
Yuffie : Cloud, 3-some is so old... how's about 4-some?  
  
Cloud : More the merrier  
  
Lila : Can I come too, and steal your pants?  
  
Cloud : Uhh... maybe. Why not steal Snoops pants?  
  
Snoopy : Hey man, back off. I like my fricken pants!  
  
*smoke starts coming in*  
  
Cid : %#$@%%^ %!#$%^@# ^%@%^  
  
Barret : $#@%^# %!@^ *^% !#^$#!@  
  
Cloud : Ah shit... they started the whole plantation on fire... we are all gonna be fricken hopped up soon!  
  
Snoopy : Ah well... at least it'll get quiet....  
  
Me : Ok... that's enough for now... god damn you guys are fucked up!  
  
Cloud : Shut up bitch... you can't do anything!  
  
Me : OOH YEAH NIGGA!!?!?!?!? I'll stop the fic!  
  
*Fic stops*  
  
Cloud : GOD DAMN IT!!!! AERIS!!!!! NOT IN PUBLIC!!!!  
  
Aeris : Ohh... your sword is not the only big thing.... is it?  
  
Me : Uhh... lets leave the rest to imagination...   
  
Cloud : Oh man... that feels GOOD!!!!   
  
*Moans as scene turns to black*   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
